Are you crying enough?

My dear sweet sister, have you been crying enough? What I mean by that is have you been honoring yourself by allowing yourself time to process what you need to process? 

A few weeks ago I shared about the importance of honoring the cycle we are in, focusing on endings and the challenging times in a cycle. Recently I’ve been reminded of the simple need we all have to process when changes or challenges occur. While I was crying myself the other day, I wondered…are other women allowing themselves the gift of space to cry?

Im going straight to the point, because I like to roll like that: Your feelings are valid. They serve you well in clarity, energy and inspiration. They will help you create and re-create your identity, future and success. You need to cry. You need to vent. You need to GET OUT what needs to come out. You need to be angry when you are angry. You need to be sad when you are sad. You need to ACCEPT the emotion that is present, feel it fully and allow it to move and evolve. This is what processing is. 

In this modern world, I’ve noticed that us women either “forget” to process or consciously avoid it at all costs. Society tells us that strength is keeping our negative emotions inside, not feeling them and certainly not expressing them. Laughter, love, excitement and joy are welcome with open arms, however anger, sadness, grief and frustration are frowned upon. Sister, don’t ever let anyone tell you your emotions are not valid, that you can’t feel something or shouldn’t express it. 

It’s time to take a stand for the full spectrum of our emotions.

Let me clarify that processing is done solo and is never directed towards anyone, even though it may be done with someone (for support). When negative emotions are directed towards anyone, it is harmful not helpful nor does it honor our feelings. Processing is taking full ownership of our emotions and expressing them in a constructive way. 

Throw a tantrum with yourself, beat a pillow, scream at the ocean, cry, wallow, dance, work out, write, talk.

When I asked if you were crying enough, I didn’t necessarily mean tears, but feeling whatever you need to feel. 

So, in case no one has asked lately…

how are you feeling?

It breaks my heart when I hear women not making time for processing changes and challenges for whatever reason. Lots of shifting is occurring in everyone’s life right now, and with that aways comes emotion. Even processing the GOOD is more absent than expected. 

Processing the good is celebrating.
Processing the bad is releasing. 

Another reason I see many women avoid processing is because it doesn’t feel productive or worthy of time. We all know our time is precious, and I adore women who know how to get shit done and have a solid schedule. What we need to remember is that processing is the feminine version of productivity, which is masculine. If you want balance, which I know you do, you have to dive into the feminine aspects of yourself now and then, too. 

So, I ask of you, sweet sister, what is it that you need to process? What has happened that you need to honor by making time to feel what you really feel about it? Perhaps it is carving out time to cry. Perhaps it is allowing your fellow sisters to witness you celebrating something big.

Please, make the time.

YOU DESERVE it.

You need it.

Process it.

Holding space for you,

YOUR TURN! 

What have you been avoiding processing in your life? Comment below!

How Perspective Gives You Permission to Feel

Do you ever judge your emotions? Like you are feeling down and then feel like there is something wrong with you? Or you hold back your tears to not let someone else see you cry, because what will they think?!? Well, I grew up like this, and I have a feeling you can relate big time. I want to share with you some insight on how perspective changes everything. 

Right now we are experiencing some major shifts in the world here on earth, cosmically speaking. You know I follow all that jazz regularly, especially the moon cycles, because it really gives us a new perspective. When I read about how the planets are affecting us here on earth, I’m usually like “OHHHH, that explains it. Ok, I can get through it if everyone is going through it too.” That one shift of knowing that we are all going to go through the same kind of changes makes it 1. easier to deal with and 2. easier to understand why I am feeling what I’m feeling. 

What sends most people into a negative depressive spiral is feeling empty or alone, that no one understands them or that they are the only ones going through it. One thing I have learned is that whatever anyone is going through, someone else is going through it at the same time, and most people have gone through it at some point on some level. I don’t believe anyone is ever alone or the only one that knows how it feels, whatever “it” may be.  Common “It’s” can be fear, feelings of unworthiness, abuse, feeling not good enough, lack of motivation, feeling left out, feeling betrayed, etc. 

I believe we are all one, that we are all sharing the same human experience with the same emotions. The people that are in our life are either at different levels so they can support us or they are feeling the same so they can share in the feeling with us, making us feel connected and whole. Both of those scenarios are to give us perspective, just like the cosmos do, but on a more relatable level. 

How would we know who is going through what? Well, we share what we are going through, of course! Then let others respond, so we can hear their perspective and choose to move from there.

Most of us are taught and trained to hold our feelings back, suppress “ugly” emotions and push through the pain because they are deemed weak in society.  You will look like a sissy if you cry. There is something wrong with you if you can’t get it together and shape up. You can’t be trusted if you show emotion publicly. You won’t be taken seriously if you are really honest about how you feel. You won’t be successful if you let others see your emotions. If you’re sad, nobody wants to be around you.

FUCK THAT! 

I call bullshit on the patriarchy that is squashing the power of our femininity. This ain’t the 50’s anymore, honey, so let’s revolutionize our life experience by FEELING FULLY.

My good friend Kelley Cooper said it the best I’ve heard yet: “Feeling is a gift”.  It is a powerful and natural ability, especially in women. Feeling is part of our human experience, so why should we honor half of our feelings, the “good” ones and not the “bad”? And let’s just eliminate the label “good” and “bad” from emotional explanation. Feeling is feeling, it’s what we do! When we try to NOT do something that is inherently human, we block our own energy flow and therefore twist our fate in the process. What I mean by that is something automatically becomes stuck and unsustainable inside us once we deny our feelings on any level. IMMEDIATELY. On the contrary, energy flows again once our feelings and emotions are felt fully, activating our souls magnetism which produces opportunities we actually want.

Feeling is thriving. 

Learning how to feel fully can be scary so make sure you surround yourself with those that can support you. Share with them, so they CAN support you. When you share your feelings, you give others permission to feel theirs more. When you are in a safe space, you have permission to share freely. If you don’t share, there is no way of getting support and you might be doomed to go through the process alone, which you don’t have to! By communicating your feelings, you tap into your power and allow others to give you a new perspective from their experience. However, don’t share with anyone that you think won’t have your back.
 

Full disclosure: I cried 3x this week! And it was exhilarating at the same time as it was painful because I had major support through it. I moved through it in a flash because I let it all out and had the safety net of loved ones to bring me back to neutral.  I allowed myself to feel fully and be supported. It was definitely not comfortable. Now, I’m feeling unstoppable! It is a powerful feeling when you look back on this kind of experience.
 

True power is how much you can OWN your truth. Sometimes that is through massive action, energetic passion or helping people. Sometimes, though, it may be anger, fear or sadness. Neither is better than the other and both have their purpose to help us grow. When we own our truth, we take full responsibility, feel it fully and allow ourselves to experience it with respect to others. Owning our truth means we express while operating with boundaries and not pushing our truth onto others. They get to feel and respond how they want. This kind of mutual respect is sovereignty and It’s what I live for. 

So the next time you are feeling some of those “bad” emotions, love, take a beat and breathe into it more than you have been. Breathe into the fear, the sadness, the tears, the worry, the confusion and the doubt. Acknowledge it and let it move through you. Know that IT’S OK to feel these, sister. If you find a safe person or safe community to share with, even better. Acknowledgment is what will help the feeling dissolve. Then, see what manifests in your life soon after.

YOUR TURN!
I would LOVE to hear what hit home for you from this blog. Will you share with me in the comments below? 

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