Own Your Season of Life

How present and in the moment aware are you?

I find that it's all too common for us to live in the future or the past instead of enjoying what we have right here in the present. Unfortunately, there are more risks involved with that than we think.

Time for a change in thinking...

In America, we are conditioned to be nostalgic, rely on past patterns, stick to family traditions out of obligation or please others first. We are bombarded with pushy marketing to speed up, buy more and consume as much as we can. As a society, we are trained by each other to worry about money, take pills for anxiety, sabotage efforts of ourselves or others and become accustomed to settling for less than what we want. I think it's about time this ends.

I want to call you out of the trenches to rise up and be the person you actually want to be with the life you actually want to live. 

I said goodbye to that kind of life over a couple of years ago when I signed up for an exclusive life coach training program. It changed my life, yes, but it also made me finally realize shit needs to change NOW.

What we all need...

There are a myriad of lessons, routines and tools I could tell you about, but the biggest one of all that I am still learning how to master to this day is presence. With all that conditioning mentioned above, it's quite challenging to break those habits, right? Constant awareness and reminders have to be set to remember to be present. It's important because that's where all our power comes from, the present moment.

We give our power away when we live in the past or future. (TWEET THAT) 

That's when life goes downhill and we keep riding that roller coaster called overwhelm and unfulfillment. Let's not let life pass us by. Let's get off that roller coaster and meander along, soaking it all up.

Before we can do that, we need to shift our perspective to the present moment and the season of life we are currently in.

Reflection is a powerful tool for success, but presence is even more powerful. As I look back on the different times in my life, I definitely regret not enjoying them more. I have always wanted what I can't or don't have and in the fastest way possible. This obviously kept me from happiness and truly growing into myself naturally. Sometimes it takes a few re-dedications and flipping the switch to catch yourself and get off that roller coaster. I realize it's not about perfection, but, rather living in tune with every moment. Just like meditation, it's about bringing the focus back when we wander off. It's about honing THAT skill, as opposed to beating ourselves up that we aren't good at being present. How do we hone the skill of awareness and harnessing the present? By owning our season of life. 

What's your season?

Examples of seasons of life are: being a toddler, pre-school, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, studying abroad, month long backpacking trip to Europe, your 20s, volunteering on a politicians campaign, any job, being on tour, dealing with an illness, living in a certain neighborhood/city, being pregnant, raising a young child, raising a teenager, empty nesters, retiring, extended travel, retreats, unemployment, taking education courses, getting married, going all eat-pray-love, physical training, being in a relationship and the list goes on.

The actual events going on, people you are hanging out with, job you have and overall circumstance is your season of life. Sometimes seasons of life overlap. In other words, we have multiple seasons of life at the same time. We don't always know how long our season of life could be, but one thing is certain: it is unique to you and you will NEVER experience this season of life again. So ENJOY it! Relish this time, even if its hard. Savor the moments as much as you can, notice more, let arguments go, get out of your comfort zone, be with your loved ones and do what feels right at this time. Your bucket list will always be there and everything is in divine timing.

So, the question is, how can you cherish your season of life so that your daily experience is amazing? (Click to Tweet)

Actual Seasons

Also, as you may have guessed, the actual physical season we are in affects the quality of our seasons of life. That means taking full advantage of Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Even when it's a season you hate, get into it. It will expand your enjoyment and overall happiness when you get out of your comfort zone and embrace what Mother Nature is givin'. This will help you be more present and elevate your experience.

Personally, I hate summer. I'm not a heat person, and I feel like my body shuts down when it's hot. I get grumpy, sweaty and triggered easily. What I know, though, is that these irritable signs are clues to where I need to grow. I am aware that my lifelong lesson will forever be "letting go" in some way or another and making it magical. For me in summer that looks like wearing really flowing clothes, savoring cold, delicious food, noticing breezes, going swimming, enjoying farmers markets and staying active. Air conditioned movie theaters are a beacon of light at this time for me, too. 

How can you harness the blissful moments of the physical season you are in now?
 

Now, I'd love to hear from you personally. 

Do you recognize what season of life you are in? What would be ONE thing you could start doing or being aware of that will enhance YOUR experience?

Tell me in the comments below or shoot me an email. 

Here's to owning where you're at!

3 Smart Stress Cures

April is Stress Awareness Month, so I thought I would share my favorite tips on combating the evil S word.

Original post 2014 via Some Like It Organized

When we let ourselves get stressed, it causes loads of illnesses, increases risk of disease, makes us fat, yadda yadda yadda. You're smart, you know this.

We all know we shouldn't have stress, but we still do, right? What I want to get into right now is how you can actually flip that switch the moment you recognize stress.

What stresses you out? Why do you think it stresses you out? Think about it...if what stresses you out brings you to a level that is not supporting you, why do you let it happen?

I am inspired by my friend Crystal this week when she told me a story of her and her boss. She explained how stressful her job has been and what negative, projective energy her boss always has. It was so draining and when she finally realized what was happening, she said to her boss straight up "You know, I can't do this anymore. I'll finish out the week, but I'm done. My highest priority is my spirituality and I do not less stress into my body. I feel like working with you does that to me, so I need to let this go." WOW! Way to go, sister! I love how she stood up for her values so strongly.
 
It's funny to me when I realize what is stressing me out. I most often think "WHAT?! this is bull$#!%"  It's because I KNOW that I am not paying attention to something important to me. Sometimes, we gravitate towards the emotions we are comfortable with too. If we grew up in a stressful environment, we might find stress to keep us in our comfort zone, subconsciously. Or if we have friends that are a lot of drama and stress, we take that on to fit in.
 

A Few Common Stress-Inducing Situations & How to Combat Them

1. Anxiety
Here's the deal: you are living in the future and using your imagination in a way that is not serving you. Thanks to one of my mentors Christine Hassler, this was an eye opening idea to me that changed my whole view on anxiety. I definitely believe it's possible to deal with anxiety without medication, but do understand those with chronic anxiety need much more support than talking it out. For those that have it occasionally, I invite you to become bring yourself back to the present when this happens. Meditate, breathe, ground yourself, whatever it takes. 

2. Overwhelm
For this one, I am excited to share this amazing quote from my coach Jeannine Yoder, which blew me away when I heard it:

"Overwhelm is the mistaken doubt that the resources are not available to fulfill your wants and needs."

Right?! Brilliant. You have everything you need at your fingertips for what you need to do in this moment. Maybe the perception needs to be expanded a bit. Or perhaps there needs to be a little more patience. Often times, we know something should be a certain way and are not happy about it. It's in those times we fully let go after doing the best we can and trusting it will happen as it should that brings the most peace.

3. Overworked & Underplayed
One of my consistent no-nonsense teachings is for everyone to schedule their play time. It's so crucial to mental health as it is physical. Plus, often the play activities are just that: active! Win-win for feeling fulfilled and physical activity which combats stress in and of itself.

What about those who are actually UNDERworked...maybe you are not working right now or in between jobs and playing too much? If that is you, I would still say stick to your hobbies (not to be confused with going out all night) but look for work as much as you are willing to work. For example, if you want to work 30 hours per week, start actively searching for jobs, filling out applications, writing your resume, networking, etc for 30 hours a week. Putting in that effort will get you something in no time AND it is "doing all you can" so you can feel comfortable playing afterwards. 

TELL ME: what is stressing YOU out right now? You're not alone, let's get the conversation going. 

Your Desires are your Destiny

Do you remember who told you your dreams were just that, a dream (aka NOT reality)? 

Personally, I can't pinpoint one person. It was more like everyone who I was close to telling me I can't do this or I can't do that. I was the toddler...and little girl....and teenager asking WHY all the time. I didn't understand the concept of "can't" and I refused to accept the "because I said so" from Mom. I couldn't WAIT to get older so I could finally start doing stuff! Until then, however, it was rebellion central. 

Fast forward to 2008. I had a near fatal car accident and I was at an emotional rock bottom. My life was "great" but I was totally unfulfilled. I had everything I was supposed to have, a new husband, youth, fun, friends, family, big home, fancy car...why wasn't I happy? I started getting real and letting some things go, pursuing new ideas and I actually wrote out a life that I thought would be my dream life. Freedom, support, love, excitement, sisterhood...all of this was on my mind. I knew it was out there because other people had it. I knew I might as well hope.

Fast forward to now. I'm living that "dream life" I set the intention for! I quote that because although I definitely would call my life wonderful, fulfilling and truly is everything I wanted at that time, there is still more I desire. I desire to play a bigger role, professionally. I desire a new home up north. I desire to harness more of my creativity. I desire to bring magical things to the world.

There's a lot I want, but my point is there is never a destination. We are all meant to shine along the way. We have to just keep going and moving towards what we love, what we are good at, what we feel called to, NO MATTER WHAT. When we do so, our full potential comes out and that leads us to our true destiny. Sometimes the path is unclear, in which case it's the time to remember to put one foot in front of the other and expect a miracle and make some magic happen with intentions. "Do what you can with what you have where you are." 

What you are craving right now is already yours in the future. It could be a job, a person, an item, a vacation, a feeling...but ONLY if you claim it by moving towards it. 

What do you need to say yes to? 

What do you need to say no to? 

What needs to be clarified to get a better perspective on how you would get there? 

Who do you need to accept support from? 

I was astonished and bewildered when I realized my dream life came true. Although it was nothing major in comparison to worldly definitions, it was big to me! I had evidence that I could create a life I wanted, far from the lackluster life I was living. I look back on what it took me to get here and I see now how easy it all really is, once I was devoted to it. Here's the process in an extremely simplified way. 

I challenge you to put this in place in your own life.

YOU DESERVE IT BECAUSE YOU DESIRE IT! (Tweet that).

1.  Dream
Get outside of your normal routine. Daydream and ponder your preferences. What would be ideal for you?

2. Make it official somehow
Write it down or record yourself talking about your dream as if it's yours now.  

3. Make aligned decisions
Move towards it in every way possible (for the highest good of all concerned, of course). Every action and thought of yours is choice, so choose to do+think things that will bring you closer to your dream. 

4. ALLOW through awareness.
Catch those small moments of synchronicity. Recognize helpful people. Be grateful for opportunities. Ask+receive support. 

Before you know it, it will hit you. You'll be experiencing the life you wanted. And, you’ll want more, and be even MORE capable to get to that new place. Effort creates ease. 

Celebrating your dream in advance,

Predict Your Way to Happiness

You know the feelings well: Getting bummed out by a negative response someone said to you when you were really hoping for a positive conversation. Running around all day pissed off because annoying stuff keeps happening everywhere you go. Planning, promoting or running a big time event that you worked your ass off for only to get overlooked in the credits or suffer through an unpleasant experience.

Many times we are disappointed due to the sheer lack of attention or focus towards our enjoyment. I have found that complete clarity around what we value and what we want to feel sets the foundation for getting what we want. That clarity blossoms into present awareness so we can recognize if it’s happening or not in the moment. Next, we can navigate to our desired end result (happiness and enjoyment) by what we say or do.

Recall those situations where you felt that expectation hangover. How much effort did you really put into making sure you got what you wanted?  

Ask yourself…
What could I have said? 
What could I have done? 
What boundaries could I have implemented? 

Reflection is a powerful life tool because it helps create your future. We can learn from our past and shift our approach for an intended feeling in the present. This shows us our preferences for every kind of situation. We learn what really want to hear, what we really want to feel, how we want to show up or what it means to be happy. 

Don’t underestimate your past! 

Use it as fuel to co-create your reality now. Use it to shape all of your conversations, events, activities, relationships, etc. 

What do you now know you want to experience emotionally, physically, spiritually, energetically or mentally?

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Hold up, let’s squash some things that might be popping up for you…

Is your head thinking “Isn’t that manipulation?”  On the contrary. This is about integrity. This is about owning who you intrinsically are through authentic communication. Why shouldn’t you get everything you ever wanted? You deserve it! 

There’s also the argument of “But the other person might not get what they wanted if It’s all about me”. There is always a way for everyone to get what they want. I whole-heartedly believe in win-win scenarios. Win-lose simply is not sustainable. If I get what I want and you do not get what you want from the same situation, there is a block in abundance. The person who doesn’t get what they want now has to deal with limiting beliefs around lack and people pleasing antics, which perpetuates unpleasant experiences for everyone. However, when we both win, we both are happy and more willing to help each other continuously creating universal fulfillment. Which cycle would you rather create? Know that you are creating something either way by your decisions, requests and actions.

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Now, come up with situations in the near future that you know you will be experiencing. These examples could be as big as you having a baby, changing schools in the middle of your term, moving cross-country or retiring. However, I would suggest to start small with examples like the fact that you’re going to school in the morning, have to get a project done by Friday or cooking your significant other dinner later tonight. 

Ask yourself how you can create the experience you want by predicting all the possible obstacles that could be in your way during that particular situation. Then come up with solutions! It’s that simple. Think of predicting as utilizing possibilities for success.

EVERYONE is going to tell you what you should name your baby. You are not necessarily going to be welcomed with open arms at your new school or neighborhood.  Your partner always complains about your cooking. 

These don’t have to be negative obstacles, either. They could be situational facts that you just haven’t taken advantage of yet.

The cute guy at the coffee shop is always there on Tuesdays. That last sliver of paper with the personal trainer’s number on it is still there on the community board. Your Mother always wants to talk to you. It’s summer! It’s fall! 

For every upcoming scenario, ask yourself…
What do I want? 
What do I need? 
What won’t I stand for?
What would I like to feel?

Awareness around this kind of co-creation is beautiful! On the deepest (and most cliche) level, we all just want to love and be loved. We can start that process by loving ourselves enough to ask for what we want and predict what could be in our way based on our knowledge right now. 

To enjoy the unexpected, you don’t need to be psychic, you just need to be strategic. (TWEET THAT)

Carpe Diem, loves! 

Michelle

The Power of Silence

Few times in life do women actually get total approval for being any way we want to be. Where anything goes and we get a “free pass” if you will. I think of being pregnant, being an infant or young child and those with medical issues. There is total acceptance of whatever we want to say or do during those times and all guards are down. We feel taken care of with compassion and are completely free to be our true selves (no matter how unattractive, crazy or emotional we get). Nothing we do is “too much”, people adjust around us and we are seen with pure eyes. Isn’t that interesting? 

I had simply accepted this as a fact until recently. Two weeks ago I attended a spiritual feminine luxury retreat with 9 other women in Palm Springs. We were to have no technology, dive into ancient feminine teachings, conduct sacred sister circles and be initiated as a “Queen”. Archetypes like the Queen or Warrior are a huge part of spirituality. They hold the role to play when seeking to embody truth and power. Little did I know, though, that this was a half-silent retreat. That meant every night after circle we would go into silence until lunchtime the next day. 

For someone who has never done anything like this before, I was scared and shocked, which is an understatement. How were we to communicate? How will we pass the time? We were sharing rooms and bathrooms, how was this going to work? I had to put full faith in my mentor and myself to trust the process, which I have been working on in my life lately anyway. This was a powerful opportunity to put this trust into action. It was time for me to step up my spiritual game and accept whatever came up. 

As with any first time, it was a little awkward. I wanted to connect with the lovely women around me! I wanted to ask questions and laugh! I wanted to talk about what we just learned. When I was left to myself, in the actual presence of the other women, I didn’t know how to handle my emotions or feelings. I felt the energies of everyone, but was forced to be with only mine. What I realized was that I had been denying myself for so long. 

Part of being a Queen is honoring her own time, space and body. She doesn’t seek attention, acknowledgement and social activities when there are decisions to be made or deep learning to understand. She knows what she needs and never has to explain herself. She knows she holds the power for change in herself and her Queendom. With great power comes great responsibility. She sets strong, healthy boundaries.

That silence was a boundary to protect our process of everything we had just learned and felt. It kept us incredibly present and created space for the information or whatever feeling that came up to ‘land’. It allowed us to be in our bodies, not in our heads, to embody our truth we intrinsically are as women. It was permission to feel and be any way we wanted to. There was no judgement and no criticism from ourselves or the others. There was only love, acceptance, compassion and freedom. This is where we, as women, are safe to shine. 

Instead of succumbing to the belief that we only get a few chances to be completely free and authentic, I now understand that once we sit with who we are without distractions, we find our safety. In that safety, we have freedom. It is when we let our minds or outside circumstances take control that the perception of safety is absent and we aren’t able to claim our power. Our power is in our being and our body, not our doing or intellect.

When women feel safe, anything is possible. When we create our own safety through silence and space, we allow our full self to completely emerge. Our unique power is ignited and people around us will adjust to it. Just like a pregnant woman, baby or ill patient, everyone else will see us with pure eyes and compassion. They will either accept our power and be led by it or be repelled and go the other direction. Our needs are served when they are felt and honored by ourselves first. (TWEET THAT)

With that gift of silence, we were all able to see ourselves easier, to let things truly sink in and understand what it means to have power as a woman. All the logistic awkwardness worked out, too. You can still communicate in silence. Who knew?  ;)

Technology such as phones, Facebook, TV, music or apps as well as engagement with others can be a distraction from what we really need to thrive, and inevitably keep us stuck. There is a time and place for it - I’m not suggesting to go all hard-core no technology. However, l invite you to give yourself enough space and time to discern when healing and processing need to be honored. You can have this whenever you need. Trust the process. 

This concept has changed my life. I believe it has to experienced before one can fully understand it. I’ve heard about going off the grid my entire life, but not until 32 years in did I accept the challenge. Oh, and Sacred Sisterhood helped.

Have you experienced going off-the-grid? If so, I’d love to hear all about it in the comments! If not, how and when can you create some off-the-grid silence in your life? 

Silent hugs,